


Ebb and Flow

by Aishuu



Category: Juuni Kokki (Twelve Kingdoms)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 06:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/pseuds/Aishuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youko explores the idea of romantic love in a world where sex does not equal children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ebb and Flow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haraamis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haraamis/gifts).



Youko does not know much of love. When she had lived in Japan, she had fancied herself in love with Asano-kun, but that had been a minor infatuation, one she had likely indulged because it was expected of her.

But now that she lives in Kei, she finds the rules that had previously governed her life no longer apply. She wonders what it is to be in love in this land, what the rules are for the rulers and the general public.

In Japan, romantic love is entwined with the act of sex. It is possible to have sex without love, but romantic love is almost always culminated through sex. She knows people in the Twelve Kingdoms do have sex – almost getting sold into a brothel made it very clear – but she doesn't know what the purpose of sex is since women don't bear children. But she still feels attraction, and she wants to know the answers.

It's an awkward topic to broach, but there is only one person who can answer her questions, and will do so.

Shouryuu is on another state visit to Kei. Sometimes it seems the En-ou spends more time in other kingdoms than governing his own. But he can afford to relax because five centuries of solid rule have created a country that doesn't need to depend on its ruler for every little decision. She hopes that someday, she will be able to do the same, but Kei is a long way from equaling En's pastoral splendor.

Youko finds him, appropriately enough, patronizing a brothel. She is dressed like a man, carrying her sword, so the women only smile knowingly at the blush the decorates her dark face. This is a high-class establishment, though, and none of them blatantly proposition her, for which Youko is grateful. Shouryuu, thankfully, is in the public area, flanked by two beautiful women with a third kneeling at his feet and playing the qin.

He lifts a hand in greeting, and beckons for her to come join him. No one raises an eye as she makes her way across the room, and she realizes that Shouryuu is once again pretending to be no one special. If he was in En, his anonymity would be a polite fiction since he's been hanging around the same brothels for centuries, but Kei is new territory for him. These people really don't think he's anything but the rake he presents himself as.

After she orders a drink – at his insistence – he settles his disturbingly wise eyes on her. "What's bothering you, Youshi?"

She doesn't feel comfortable talking while the women kneel around them. She knows they are trained never to repeat what they overhear, but remnants of her life growing up still remain, including an aversion to embarrassing herself. "I'm still trying to adapt to this place," she says cautiously, lifting up the cup of bitter liquor and taking a sip. It burns as it moves down her throat.

"And you were hoping to discuss something specific with me?" He sighs as he stares longingly at the musician playing the qin, but rises to his feet a second later. "Would you like to go somewhere more private?"

She nods, and in short order they find themselves in one of the back rooms of the brothel. The scent of opium and incense linger in the air, and Youko is horrified when she starts sneezing. Shouryuu laughs at her, but waits for her to settle down without saying anything.

Youko doesn't want to use the furniture since she has a pretty good idea of what it is used for. Shouryuu shows no such reticence and she's forced to kneel across from him. She focuses her stare on her hands, feeling shy. Talking to a man about her feelings is awkward, but she knows no one else who will understand.

"It's not really important..." she shifts on her heels nervously, feeling like the school girl she had once been. She takes a deep breath, reminding herself that she's faced down armies and fought for her throne, so surely having an intimate conversation with a friend shouldn't be so hard. She forces herself to look into Shouryuu's eyes and speak plainly. "How does the nature of love work in these lands?"

"Love is the same wherever you go," Shouryuu replies. "Love is one of the great universal truths."

She frowns. "I wasn't speaking philosophically." Again, she reminds herself not to hesitate. "In Japan, romantic love is very much entwined with sex, and sex is entwined with reproduction. Since people are born from the riboku, I wondered if love was different."

To her great relief, Shouryuu doesn't laugh this time. "Love might be stronger here," he answers. "There is no such thing as an unwanted child, since both parents must pray to Tentei for a ranka to grow, and children are only granted to couples who are fit to raise a child together. Sex is part of forming a romantic bond, since the act expresses love and a desire to be close to the other person."

Youko finds it highly ironic that Shouryuu can wax romantic about sex while seated in a brothel. "So romances have to include sex?"

He shakes his head. "I used to suspect it did, but there's more to love than a physical relationship. The person I love most will never be the one I bring to my bed, but that doesn't mean he's not the most important thing in the world to me. Rokuta and I hold no physical attraction to each other, but our relationship is the most important thing in my life."

"The kirin represents the country, so isn't that the way it should be?"

"All rulers relationships with kirin are unique, just as all of the sovereigns are unique. It doesn't mean that the ruler will focus on their kirin as a romantic partner, though. Many rulers keep the families and relationships they had before ascending, and the kirin becomes a part of their lives."

Youko realizes that by coming from Houri, she and Shouryuu are both unique as rulers. They gave up their entire pasts to take their places upon their thrones, and have formed relatively few bonds since arriving. "But that's not how we are," she replies slowly.

"You are I will always be different, but that's okay." His smile turns wicked, and she fears what he is going to say next. "There's nothing wrong with deciding you want Keiki in your bed. You'll never be able to have a traditional relationship, but there's no one to stop you from enjoying what you can have."

* * *

Youko is still blushing when she arrives back at her palace. Keiki, to her great chagrin, is waiting for her to appear, his expression carefully blank.

"Did you find En-ou?" he asks in his soft voice.

Youko nods, but doesn't elaborate as she brushes by. "I need to prepare for court," she tells him, hoping that he will let the topic drop.

She can feel his eyes on her as she enters her chambers. She knows she's acting suspicious, but she needs some time to sort out how she feels.

As the women wrap her in the many layers that are her formal wear, she lets her mind wander. It's true that Keiki is her most important person, but there's times when she suspects he doesn't like her much. Keiki is often confused by her actions, and she knows he didn't approve of her first decree. He's a traditionalist, and sometimes she thinks she's the worst possible choice of ruler for him. She doesn't know the basics of this world, and there are many mistakes she makes through her ignorance.

But now that Shouryuu mentioned it, she can't get the idea of pursuing Keiki out of her mind. She's always thought of Keiki as extremely beautiful, but suddenly realizing it was possibly that he could be more than a friend is preying at her mind. She's eternally sixteen years old, and she has _urges_ she wishes she could ignore.

As Kei-ou, Keiki is bound to follow her commands. If she decided to, she could order him to... the idea never fully forms, since the idea of sex is scary. Besides, doing so would betray herself, since Youko values independence and individual strength.

But she could ask him. Kirin are incapable of lying to their masters, and he would tell her what he thought. If he didn't want her, he would let her down gently before she became enamored of the idea.

Her maidservants hold up a polished silver mirror in front of her, and she studies her reflection and gives a nod of approval. She always thinks she looks like a girl playing dress-up when garbed in her court robes, but she's starting to become used to it. Feeling the heavy weight of the fabric reminds her of the great responsibilities she's shouldered.

Keiki is waiting for her outside of the room, dressed in his usual black gown. His purple eyes are fastened on her as she steps through the doorway, and she wonders what he's thinking.

"You look lovely, my lady," he murmurs, bowing his head slightly.

She stands uncomfortably for a moment, trying to decide if he deserves an apology for her earlier brusqueness. Keiki doesn't like it when she admits fault, though, so instead she decides on a nonverbal course. She holds out her arm, indicated she would like him to escort her.

His pale eyebrows raise as he comes to stand beside her, recognizing the great honor he is being granted. She rests her hand lightly on his arm, and she can feel the warmth of his skin through the silk of his robe. Youko's rarely touched him before, but instead of feeling nervous about his nearness, she feels calmed.

Despite their differences, she knows that Keiki will always be there for her. They work together well because he _is_ a traditionalist, and she needs him to balance her. She is an agent of change, and she reminds him that there are other possibilities. He may not agree with her, and at times she may frustrate him, but there's no denying that he cares for her deeply. That, more than anything, is what is important to form a good relationship.

Youko makes up her mind then that she will ask Keiki to share dinner with her that evening. She'll never know if they might mean more to each other than ruler and kirin unless she makes the effort.

Youko still isn't sure she understands how love is supposed to work in the Twelve Kingdoms, but she resolves to find out. If she wants to have a deeper relationship with Keiki, it's going to be up to her to make the decisions. Ever since she's arrived in this world, she's had to take the initiative to control her life, and it looks like pursuing love will be no different than any other task she's taken upon herself.

And like everything she's done so far, she will not rest until she achieves success.

**Author's Note:**

> Haraamis - I hope you enjoy. This is a last minute pinch hit, so I plan on taking some time to go over this again later in the week.


End file.
